Roger's Rating:

I have never seen any of the Skin vids, so I have no idea what to expect. However, if the makers of this film put half the effort and creativity into movie as they did into the box, then it should at least be an interesting couple of hours in front of the TV. I had to look a bit to find some sexual attractions for me in the cast list, but I did find a couple. Hopefully, they will carry the way and the promising box will be just the start and I will end this review as impressed as I at the start.

OK, the opening shots have a naked Jill Kelly running with a Bible under her arms. There is some dialog, but I am too busy processing what I see to listen too carefully. A tattoo of Christ on the Cross, adorning Jill's shaved pussy. I'm about as tough to offend as they come, but damn if this movie didn't manage to do it right out of the gate. Before I can even begin to discuss the many ways this is a bad way to start out, an entire scene goes by. Not to worry, it involves Jill, with a globe on her back, standing in the center of a bunch of women dancing naked. Why do I feel like this movie is going down the same ill fated path that 'Zazel' took? (Cheer up filmmakers, I hated 'Zazel' and it won a shit load of awards.)

The first sex scene comes with Jill now on the delivery table trying to squeeze something out of her pussy. While waiting, Johnni Black joins her fellow nurse in a fat, black treat, care of Mr. Marcus. This should probably be hotter than it is, but we jump around too much to really watch much action. Besides, Jill's loud labor is not exactly what I would call an erotic background. When she finally gives birth to herself, I have to say I'm about ready to just give up on the whole damn thing. I mean, I love film as much as the next guy, but this is porn, not film class. Save the duality of human nature bullshit and show me nurse Black deep throating Marcus's cock.

No annoying backdrop to the next scene, just Jill and Eric Price getting it on in the car. Now, this scene is really nicely shot, which is the proper way to use film training in smut films. No symbolism, no subtext, just well shot sex with the occasional creative shot thrown in for good measure. (The reflection in Eric's shades is especially nice.) Of course, Jill storms out of the car before the scene ends, leaving Eric to shoot his load into four, latex encased hands. Great for fans of gloved women rubbing cum on their gloves, but for me, no thanks.

The one woman I really wanted to see, Cheyenne Silver, gets painfully misused in a long, three way, all girl dance number, followed by a five way fuck with two studs. The problem here is that she has a mask on. I know it's supposed to fit with the arty look of the film, but look at her face! Why would anyone hide that? You see, when art fucks up the smut, then it's time for a serious reality check. Even when the sex gets going, the slow motion crap wrecks any heat that Ms. Silver might have generated. What an incredible waste.

You know, in the middle of this total mess, I did notice one thing. In a leather bondage get up, Jill really has a very nice body. I was about to actually start enjoying watching her masturbate, when that damn tattoo got in the way again. Maybe next time.

The whole painting motif gets taken even further in the next scene, as a small group of performers ravage each other. While the make up is a bit thick, the sex has it's good moments. Of course, since the whole thing is overly stylized (Fancy way of saying it's all slo-mo) most of the heat is washed away. Now, follow that with a four minute scene in which some demon looking woman seems to frig Jill to death and I think it's clear that this one has gotten somehow lost in the translation.

A young couple has their outdoor loving making scene interrupted by Jill and a group of wild Indians. (I would say native-Americans, but since the scene is so non-PC, I can be to.) They tie the couple down and after Jill licks her for a minute, an all out orgy breaks loose. The action is pretty hard to follow and pretty much void of anything remotely strokeable, but hey, it's nicely shot.

Oh this one is good. Jill, in a veil and nightie, on her wedding night. We know it's her wedding night because of the huge blood stain on her crotch. Add that to the Christ tat and you have something out of a Rob Black wet dream. No sex scene here, but the visual is enough to have me praying for an end to this debacle.

Again, I find myself watching as Jill and Eric fuck. She really does have a nice bod and deep throats pretty well. I actually wouldn't have minded watching if the scene were in full motion. What are filmmakers thinking when they do this to us? Maybe this is like "The Wall" or "Fantasia", only instead of having to watch it on acid, we have to all shoot up heroin to get the full effect of watching Eric fuck Jill in the ass in slow motion.

I don't know about you guys, but even before the next scene, with women in cages servicing a bunch of men through the bars, I have given up on this film. Had I not long ago promised to watch every movie all the way through, I would have turned this thing off way before now. So, while this scene rattles on, I will begin my wrap up. If anything of note happens, I'll mention it. You know, after the last movie, I was just starting to see Jill Kelly in a new light. I have to say, at least her body looks great in this movie. In fact, let's start with all the things I liked about this movie. Jill's body looks hot, the video quality is excellent. Believe it or not, I can appreciate the filmatic elements at work here. I just don't see the point in most of these tricks in a porn flick. Unless your name is Michael Ninn, keep the MTV stuff out of the smut. As for the stuff I found disturbing, it's no worse I suppose than anything Rob Black or Greg Dark has done, but hell, they offend me too. Plus, they generally manage to put some decent sexual action in around the stuff I can't stomach. This film has no strokeable moments, and that overrides any of my other concerns. I can't think of any reason to recommend this film, but I suppose, if you liked "Zazel", you might be able to stomach this movie. A gentle tip from your humble reviewer, this is porn and if no one can stroke to it, all the painted faces and sexual symbolism don't add up to the handful of awards AVN will likely give this film.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM