KueGee's Rating:

Starring: Big Asian Women. This could be the start of something good. . . really good. It's a shame that I built myself to expect something from this film because it was actually a huge let-down. Not a regular let-down but a HUGE let down. Take for example the "OJ" verdict, that's kind of let-down I'm talking about. Although the film wasn't good enough to set a drinking glass on, the ladies were quite lovely but their perfomances were quite short of erotic impulse.

First we have Sahah; she's a veteran of porn. You may have seen her cute little self on other adult film. I love ya Sarah, but this may be your all-time worst performance. The oral sex was a waste of VHS tape. The guy she's with puts her in the most unusual position to perform oral sex. He's right above her with one knee on the couch cushion and the other on top of the couch's back rest. This puts the penis right in Sarah's mouth but she has no room to do anything. The guy's d--k just sits in her mouth as she tries helplessly to perform. I believe she may have moved her mouth 1/16th of an inch up and down the shaft. . . if not, less. The guy was trying to keep his balance at the same time. Personally, I would have found more amusement in trying to match the sofa's exterior to my cousin's dining room wallpaper. I'll give credit where credit is due. The vaginal and anal penetrations were done pretty well as Sarah bent over on the couch. Gotta couple of good views from that but the scene could've been much better.
Second is Ginger. This woman is exceptionally beautiful and wide-bottomed, traits that big woman lovers appreciate. Too bad we couldn't appreciate the performance. What would have been an okay scene was ruined by little segments of Ginger playing with herself. These were shown in a some kind of special effects color imaging. My goodness, what a way to kill a decent porn scene! First we're enjoying Ginger and her male partner go at it in regular color. We're into it. . . and into it good. "What the?!" you scream as we suddenly see the guy substituted for a mini-vibrator and the colors face miserably. Yep, that happens through-out Ginger's entire scene. I call it experiencing a stock market procession; you go up then down then up the down then up they *way* down once the scene ends. Not good.

Next up is Lany who is the epitone of Asian BBW (big beautiful women for those who don't know or those who've just now emerged from a cave). If the scene was as good as Lany looked then this review would have a higher score. She's so sexy in that nurse's outfit you gotta love the scene. . . or at least the outfit. What bothered most about this scene (other than the needless music which was appropriately absent in this preceeding scenes) is that it lacks the most sought after position in all of porn. The doggie style. The scene has no doggie style but manages to provide us with music we didn't want to hear in the first place. Lany peformed admirably but didn't go the extra mile--er I mean position.

Lastly is Suki. Have you caught the pattern yet? Tantalizing Asian babes / sorry scenes. Like Lany's scene we are treated to music we despise and robbed of doggie style. It's time for a law: No doggie style, no production contract. Agree with me? Sign my petition right under the first signature of W. J. Clinton.

C'mon it's Asian Chunky Chicks. . . Big Asian women are the rarest kind of big girls you see in porn. The idea and concept is great. If you're thinking, "I wanna see Asian big girls in action. " then automatically assume that this is the kind of movie for you. Needless to say, the production values are your normal porn movie vaues. you know, your advertising of another film (or films) come before the feature presentation. As far as the actual movie goes. . . it really stinks. There are periods in the movie in which you think the cameraman is trying to record the movie from a tight-rope act. Another thing that is highly annoying is the varying-image feature that sometimes occurs during the performances. Why?! Do the producers know how corny this is?! If I wanted to see the film in that kind of view, I'd have went and got some 3-D glasses and watched it myself. Let this be a lesson to all directors and producers: leave the special effects out. It's bad enough this movie was disappointing but now I have to see it like this? Music. . . I don't know what went through the heads of those who created this film. For the first two scenes there was no music. I like porn without music; it allows the viewer to listen for moans, sucks, slurps, and clever little quips from the performers. Even though the first two scenes were subpar, I appreciated the fact that it was at least free of music. Scene 3 rolls around and we get music. Tsk tsk tsk. When will people learn? Porn can exist without music. And the music can exist without porn. Yes it can. . . even been in an elevator? You have? The you understand my point.

How can one enjoy eroticism if it's absent from the film? I don't know about you but sub-par scenes and weird production values manage to get my dander up. . . but nothing else.

I believe the first scene was pretty good. No music and good shots of Saha's buttocks. She gave the best performance in my opinion.

The music, special effects and absence of certain positions which made the porn industry what is today. There was relly no need for the music or the crummy visual magic in the film. I'd be glad to trade them for some doggie style action though.

This is definitely not even worth a Maybe a 5 at best. Some things were left out and some things were unnecessary. What a terrible beginning for a beautiful theme such as chunky Asian girls. Hopefully the second film in the series is better.

Posted By KueGee, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM