Roger's Rating:

A porn version of Lord of the Rings has all kinds of possibilities. It's not the sort of thing that you would normally think would come from Jim Powers unless you're expecting some very strange sex. He is no stranger to putting performers in all kinds of make up and having them do very freaky stuff. I missed the first part, so I hope we'll be able to pick things up without too much trouble. The opening voice over sets up the basic tale. There were rings once upon a time, but they were melted down and reformed into two dildos. One was captured by the evil queen and the other held by a pure spirit. As we join the story, the second dildo is now without a master and the evil queen will stop at nothing to get it. That about covers the story, so I guess we can get on with the sex.

Bridgette Kerkove is the evil queen and the magic dildo is only one of the many she has in her collection. With her minions around to help, she shoves as many of them into her twat as possible. Eventually she tires of fake dicks and starts sucking on three real ones instead. The creatures bend her over and fill her pussy with dick. They naturally move to anal, A2M and then to double anal. When two of the guys are rubbing their pricks together in her ass, she finally just starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Bridgette uses her mouth to get them all off, wearing their cum all over her thick lips.

Elsewhere in the kingdom, sweet and innocent Katie Morgan finds the dildo. The pretty young blonde is tempted to put it inside of her, but is saved by a sorcerer played by Joel Lawrence. He explains that must take the dildo to the fiery pit to destroy it before the evil queen gets her hands on it and rules the world. This sends Katie skipping off on her adventure while the queen sends her operatives out to get in the way.

Avy Scott shows up at the throne of King Johnny Thrust. She offers her services to help make the King feel better. Down on her knees, the busty babe puts her mouth to good use. Avy always gives great head, but when she uses her tits as well, it's an even hotter sight. Thrust bends her over and starts fucking, bringing out her talkative side. He puts her in the throne and slam fucks that dripping slit until her natural tits are bouncing all over her chest. She faces the camera for some great looking reverse cowgirl before taking a load on her face. Too bad for Johnny she was sent there to fuck him to death.

Every time Katie plays with the dildo, Bridgette can see exactly where she is and that's a bad thing. Well, it's a bad thing for Katie, but it's always good when we get to watch this cute babe sit back and shove something into her sweet little hole. She sits in a clearing and uses her feet to help slide the dildo in and out of her pussy. Scott Lyons shows up with a big dildo on his face and begins stroking off while watching. Katie decides that she wants a taste of the real thing. She slides mouth over his rod and bobs her pretty face up and down in his lap. Getting playful, she alternates between the cock on his face and the one between his legs. Katie is more than happy to hop and start fucking his dick. Katie shows great energy as she gets fucked by the double dicked creature. When he pulls out to jerk off, she takes it right on her pretty face.

On her journey, Katie gets help from a noble swordsman, Ben English. He saves her from two evil dildo wraiths, Brandy Lyons and Velvet Rose. To keep them at bay, he fucks the two women with all his might. This scene is pretty choppy and moves along very quickly. It's also not early as hot as the last two, making me want to skip forward and keep following Katie. There is some nice side by side doggy as both women put their asses high in the air to take him. They get down to stroke out his load and share the jizz.

On her way to see the King, Katie has to prove her loyalty to the trees. This gives us a very strange oral scene as she blows a long limb and gets a big fake load on her beautiful smile. After a long break for plot twists, Katie ends up face to face with the evil queen. Just when it looks like she has both dildos, Joel re-appears. Now both Lawrence and Morgan fill the queen's mouth with cock. Good and evil collide as both women suck his cock. There is some strap-on DP and then some really good footage as Joel slam fucks cute little Katie. Joel shoots his load on their faces just in time for the big finale.

I'm actually pretty impressed with this movie. It stays about as true to the mainstream title as it can while still keeping with the porn slant. The confrontation of good and evil is well represented. Katie is really good in her scenes and with her dialog. She really is perfectly cast. The make up in this movie is really good, a little freaky at time, but excellent. A couple of the sex scenes could have been a little better, but Katie and Avy provide just enough heat to really make this one work. It's a really fun feature, especially for anyone who likes porn parodies or is a fan of the LOTR movies.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM

The D-Man's Rating:

Starring: Wow, What a surprise! Somebody did an x-rated spoof of J. R. Tolkein's The Two Towers. This tale of tail begins with Queen Spewon (Bridgette Kerkove) going on about her plans to recapture an all-powerful didlo that will allow her to rule supreme. This power-trip makes her horny, and soon, she's blowing two of her minions. But things move south quickly enough, and eventually, there is a healthy dose of doggie, anal, D. P. , double anal and even A2M! (Bridgette must love her art).

Afterward, the stouthearted Hole Inwun (the oh-so lovely Katie Morgan) finds the accursed implement and learns of it's true power from the wizard Gangcock (Joel Lawrence). Thus Inwun ventures to Balls Deep as part of her quest to destroy the blue dildo of power. Meanwhile, one of the Spewon's spies (Avy Scott) seduces King Faggin of Balls Deep. Our dark agent uses her superb sword swallowing skills and impressive rack to work on the king's scepter. Then it's on to throne for a heated session of reverse cowgirl.

Meanwhile, Inwun takes time to relax, and decides to give the dildo a try. What's really impressive is that Katie uses her feet to manipulate the sex toy. Her antics draw the attention of a Gollum like creature, and since she already worked up, our heroine decides to show her visitor a good time. (You sould see what she does to an ent later on).

Later, when Inwun is attacked by dildo-wraiths, (Velvet Rose and Brandi Lyons, looking like a female version of the rock band KISS) she is saved by the valiant Arliss (a. k. a the "Analizer") who delays the would-be thieves. Nonetheless, the fiends overpower the warrior and give his sword a working over.

Finally, Inwun and her wizardly ally confront the evil queen. The result is a hard and fast threeway on the dark throne. Gangcock finds his staff exploring the orifices of both ladies, especially the queen's posterior. (Well, Bridgette is an anal queen). In the end (literally and figuratively)good triumphs.

The special effects were kind of cheesy, but they weren't bad. The camera angles worked well enough.

Bridgette mixes passion and perversion very well. Avy's bit of sinister seduction was done quite nicely. If I gave a letter grade it would get either a B+ or A-.

Katie Morgan. She's a natural beauty with a smouldering sensuality. (Evidently, she's also double-jointed) Furthermore, Bridgette knows how to play a super-sexy villain. And Avy looked and performed great in this flick.

I didn't get to see as much of Velvet Rose as I wanted. (This was the first time I've watched her, after seeing her in AVN). Oh well, I'll just have to buy one of her starring films.

I didn't expect much, but I got a wonderful surprise here. It's worth about an 8. 5

Posted By The D-Man, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM